This post is for all the gentlemen out there wondering what to get their lady for Christmas. Ladies, if you are reading this, share it with your guy. Get what you really want for Christmas this year!
You may have heard of the book, The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. This book is a great read with information for both men and women on how to give and receive love in their relationships. One of the 5 ways a couple will show love is through the act of gift giving. With the holidays in full gear, I wanted to offer advice to the guys out there on how to give gifts based on the concepts in, The 5 Love Languages. Giving gifts can mean a lot of things to women, but the main idea talked about in this book is to show affection through gifts. It will require paying attention and choosing a gift that is meaningful. Guys, if you have struggled with this in the past, I am here to help you find the perfect gift for your lady!
Do for me
Women tend to fall into one of two categories when it comes to holiday gifts. The first is the “do for me” category. These women want an actual gift, but not an ordinary gift. Gentlemen, do not go to CVS or Walmart on Christmas Eve and walk up and down the aisles looking for something to give her. You want to find a gift that has meaning to her. Something that when she looks at it she will think of you and smile.
Here is where you have to know your lady. The gift could be a new vacuum or a new ring. It depends on what she would really like. Listen to what she talks about, what she notices on TV, what she points out when you are walking through the stores. What does she like, and what has meaning to her? The new vacuum might be a perfect gift if hers is heavy and not working very well, making her life harder. She might think of you lovingly every time she vacuums. Other women never want a practical gift but something they would not buy themselves that feels like a treat.
The gift can also be something you do for her. Maybe a project around the house that she really wants done. You could take the children for the weekend and let her go away with her girlfriends. This might mean more to her than any physical gift you buy in a store.
Do with me
For some women, time together means more than anything you might buy in a store. This gift might be tickets to her favorite play, concert tickets, sporting event tickets, or anything she would enjoy the two of you doing together or with the family. Another idea would be to plan a trip the two of you have been talking about taking but never got around to. You can even make all the plans for her or just give her a card with pictures of the trip and then make the plans together. Here is where you have to know her preferences. Another idea would be a family vacation the she has wanted to take, but you have been reluctant to go along with.
Another idea for a lady who prefers to do something together is a coupon book filled with things you know she likes to do. She can cash in the coupons throughout the year for things like a picnic, day of hiking, Sunday brunch, or a day of antique shopping. Come up with a list of things you have done before that she really enjoyed or things she had been mentioning that you have not yet done. These ideas for things to do together can be the main gift, and you can buy some small items to wrap that go along with it.
The overall idea is to start thinking today of what your lady really likes and put your heart into the gift. You want her to feel your love coming through the gift. That really is what the holidays are all about after all. Give some thought to what would best communicate how you feel about her. The cost of the item is not the important part but the love and thought behind the gift. That is priceless.
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist