Holidays can be a stressful time for singles. If you are planning to spend time with your family, there are the inevitable questions about your relationship status. What if you are dating someone, do you include him or her in your holiday plans? Does it depend on whether you include your extended family or not? Is there a magic number of dates, time dating, does it depend on where you are in the dating process? These are all questions singles might be asking this time of year.
If you are only a couple dates into this new relationship, I would advise waiting. Make plans for in between the holidays this year. The one exception might be if you are both without family and you plan to spend the holidays with a group of friends. Then you might ask him/her to join you rather than spend the holiday alone.
Dating but not exclusive
If you are new to dating but not in an exclusive relationship yet, the answer can go either way. Ask yourself, “What does it mean to you if you share the holidays?” If you feel comfortable and you both agree, it could work. Be careful not to see this as a step in moving the relationship forward. This should be something you decide when the time is right, not because the holidays are approaching and you are feeling sentimental. I want to caution the ladies not to be the one to initiate the invite. He may see this as moving ahead too soon and could be scared off. If he initiates the invite and you both see it as a casual date, then it is ok to say yes.
Now it is time to prepare your family, and make sure they understand where the relationship stands. The last thing you want is them pressuring him/her or asking questions that could be embarrassing.
Time to meet the family
If you are dating exclusively, then it might be time to bring him/her home for the holidays. This is a natural step in the relationship process. How do you handle holidays now that you are a couple? It is time to talk openly about your expectations for the holidays. The holidays can be the first time you combine your two families and competing needs. This can set the tone for holidays in the future if you stay together; make sure you are honest in your conversation. Don’t set a precedence for something you are not ok with.
If you are exclusive and making plans for a future, it is the perfect time to include each other in your holiday plans and maybe even make that special announcement to your family.
Remember to take things slowly, step by step in building a new relationship. Don’t rush things. Holidays can be an emotional time, and you might tend to move too quickly or get disappointed if things don’t work out. If you are unsure, it is better to slow down and spend the holiday separate this year. Ladies, remember to stay in feminine energy and avoid taking the lead. He might feel pressured and back off. When the time is right and the partner is right, you will have many holidays together.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. If you liked the article, please share.
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist