First marriages do not always last. You might have chosen a partner who was not a good match, or the two of you may have just grown in different directions. Either way, if you find yourself single and looking for love, the second or even third time around, there are reasons your next marriage is more likely to succeed.
- You know what you want this time around.
You are older and wiser this time around and are capable of analyzing a potential partner through those wiser eyes. You will not settle for someone who is not right for you. You know yourself better the second time around. You are clear about what you really want and need. You are not looking for someone who has potential. You are looking for someone you can love just as they are. You can look at your past, failed relationship and learn what is really important to you in a partner. This time, you are looking for a partner who has the same core values.
- You know what to expect.
Second marriages benefit from experience. You are more realistic in your expectations. You understand what it takes to build a life with someone and are more willing to compromise on small issues. This is made even easier now that you are clear about what really is important to you. You are more willing to compromise on the small things. You understand the importance of picking your battles.
3. You both know yourself better.
It is common after a marriage ends to do some soul searching. You don’t want to repeat the same mistakes again. Many people will look at the role they played in the break-up and look for areas where they can improve. Frequently, this is a time for self-reflection. I have had clients tell me that they realized patterns of behavior in themselves and how this caused them pain. After a divorce, they were motivated to make changes in order to have a happier relationships the next time around. Divorce can be a strong catalyst for change.
- You are highly motivated the second time around.
Not only do you know yourself better, you are highly motivated to succeed the second time around. After experiencing the pain of a failed marriage, you want to make sure the outcome of your next relationship is different. You understand what is at stake and are highly motivated to not only find the right partner but to keep that relationship strong. You understand that it takes intention and effort to make a relationship work, and you are willing to make this next marriage a priority.
5. You have an attitude of gratitude.
After going through a divorce, you will have a new appreciation for what a healthy relationship has to offer. You are grateful to your new partner and the second chance at love. You notice all the good this new person brings to your life and you are more motivated to show them how much you appreciate them.
A second chance at love is a blessing, and you are well equipped to make the most of it. Start with a partner who has the same core values, keep your expectations realistic, respect each other and continue to show your gratitude Remember that relationships take work, and you need to make it a priority. Focusing on these things will improve your chances for happiness the next time around!
If you liked this article and would like more information, visit my website: www.lorianndavis.com.
You might also be interested in my book: Unmasking Secrets to Unstoppable Relationships: How to Find, Keep and Renew Love and Passion in Your Life.
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist
Radio Talk Show Host