If you have read my blog posts before, you have heard me talk about masculine and feminine energy and how important this is in relationships. Women spend most of their work day in masculine energy, doing and accomplishing things. We tend to carry this over into our dating relationships, which can cause problems. While men are attracted to women who are strong and independent, they also like to see our feminine side as well. It is our femininity that attracts them to us from the start. Our feminine energy mixed with their masculine energy is important, as it is what causes the initial spark between men and women. The problem is that in today’s fast-paced, competitive world, women tend to forget about their feminine energy, and this can create problems as we venture into the dating scene. So, how do we regain this feminine energy?
Here are a few suggestions.
Have your own life.
It is important to keep your own interests and interdependence. Men do not like women who are too dependent and needy. They like us to have our own, happy life that we can share with them. When you have a life that you love, you are more confident and can attract someone into that life. Being happy and focusing on the positives is attractive. The idea is to be strong on the inside, yet receptive on the outside.
All men are not the same.
All men are not the same. If you have a history of bad experiences, do not let that color your future dates. If you find you have a pattern of attracting the wrong kind of guy, it might be time to get some help identifying why you are doing so. Make the changes within yourself so you can move forward without carrying past baggage with you.
Take it slow.
Don’t move forward too fast. Allow the relationship to progress at its own pace without trying to force it. Take time to get to know each other, and see if you want to move forward. Remember that you are trying to decide if this is Mr. Right, not a frog you don’t want to kiss. If you are not sure what the difference is, read my previous post titled, “Find Your Prince Without Kissing Too Many Frogs.
Allow him to pursue.
Men like to do the pursuing. Allow them to do so. They are attracted to what they have to work for. That means resisting the urge to call, text, or email too often. They will feel like you are pursuing, and this is not feminine energy. Remember, guys are attracted to our feminine side not our masculine energy. Let him plan the dates, at least in the beginning.
You don’t want to pursue, but you do want to be receptive. So, allow him to pursue, and then let him know what he is doing right. Tell him what you appreciate, and acknowledge his efforts. He needs to know you are interested and that he is pleasing you. This will encourage him to continue his pursuit.
You are taking the relationship slow in order to get to know each other which means saying no to sex too soon. Everyone will have his/her own idea of when this is appropriate, but I encourage you to not move forward too fast. Guys want you to say yes but really hope you will say no. You want them to pursue you, remember. You want the relationship to grow and develop. This takes time. You want to be seen as someone who is worth waiting for. While we are on the subject, do not assume you are exclusive until you have a discussion and agree to be!
Dating can be scary and complicated, but it will go smoother when you approach it in feminine energy. It will help you to feel receptive to the relationship, and it will attract and keep his attention!
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Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist