Whether you are single, dating or married you want to attract and keep the attention of a guy! If you are single, you want them to notice and be interested in you. If you are dating, in a relationship or married, you want that special guy in your life to stay interested in you. You want him to want to be with you and to be proud that you are his! All women want the reassurance that they are desirable and wanted. It is important to feel this way when you are single and looking, but it is just as important to feel that way when you are in a long-term relationship! You want to keep his attention and appreciation for you alive. So how do you do that? What is he really looking for? What is really important to him?
We live in a society where looks are suggested to be the most important aspect. We are bombarded with images of how a woman is supposed to look to be attractive. We are offered tons of products and surgical options to get that “look” that will get and keep your guy. So, is this really the most important aspect? NO! Men do want to be physically attracted to us, but there is a guy out there who finds you physically attractive just the way you are. Make improvements if you want to for yourself but not because that is what is necessary to attract and keep love. There is someone for everyone. What is important is simply taking care of yourself. Your partner will appreciate the fact that you care about your personal appearance but aren’t obsessed with it.
One word I hear often from men is that they want a lady with “class.” This has to do with how you take care of yourself, the level of respect you have for yourself and others. How do you talk about and treat others? Are you kind and empathetic toward others? Are you supportive and encouraging? If you show these qualities toward others, he will feel more confident that he will be safe and happy with you.
Confidence is something else that makes you attractive. Men want a lady who is secure in herself but not arrogant. They want you to be responsible for your own happiness and not be too dependent on them. Men like to feel needed but do not like it when you are needy. There is a difference. For example, men like being asked for help when it comes to household projects. It can make them feel helpful and needed. Men also need space and time to be with friends. Not giving them their space can come off as needy, which can be a turnoff. When he is spending time with his friends, take the time to be with your friends or do something fun for yourself!
Your guy needs to be able to trust you. He is attracted to honesty and truthfulness. Are you consistent in your actions? This is really important when you are dating. You want to show him that you are who you say you are. Your actions and words need to match. He wants to be confident that he is safe with you. One mistake I see often in relationships is not accepting the other person for who they are. He wants to be accepted for who he is. Are you constantly trying to change something about him? There is nothing wrong with introducing your partner to new experiences or trying new things, but don’t expect him to change his opinion simply because you want him to. Remember that you started dating him based on who he was when you met. If you are trying to change everything about him, it isn’t fair to him, and it is a good sign that you are with the wrong person.
Men want to be happy when they are with us. They are looking for support and acceptance but also playfulness. They want someone who is passionate about them and passionate about life. That is why it is so important to flirt, have fun, and be sexy with your partner. He wants to feel good when he is with you. This attracts him to you and keeps him wanting to be with you forever! While flirting and playfulness are great at the beginning of the relationship, it is just as important as your relationship grows. Don’t stop with the sweet notes or flirty text just because you have an established relationship. Make sure to continue to “date” your partner especially if children are a part of your relationship. Taking time for just you and your partner is important and will keep the fires burning!
For more information on what is important for men in a relationship, take a look at my previous posts, “The Real Reason Men Disappear” and “How to Make Him Fall in Love With You Again and Again.”
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Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist
Radio host, “Ask Lori” show on WGIVCharlotte.com