With the divorce rate at 50% or higher, there is no shortage of people looking for love the second time around. Approximately 50% of the population is single, so there is also no shortage of singles out there to choose from. If you are back in the dating game in your 40’s or beyond, it may seem like a daunting task to find the “right one.” You may wonder how to go about dating again after years of marriage. You may wonder if it is even possible to have a happy, loving, passionate long-term relationship. What you knew about dating when you were in your 20’s no longer seems to apply, and you might be lost and scared thinking about starting over! You may have heard all the horror stories about online dating and wonder if it is worth the effort to even try!
The answer is YES it is worth it! YES, you can find “the one” and have an Unstoppable Relationship the second time around. I am living proof. I became single again in my late 40’s after 28 years of marriage. I am now very happy the second time around. If I can do it, and my clients can do it, so can you! In fact, there are many advantages to dating the second time around. So let’s talk about the advantages and some tips that might help you.
What is your attitude toward dating? Do you have beliefs that are getting in your way? Do you believe there are no good men/women out there who are looking for a relationship? Do you believe most men are liars, cheats, only want younger women, or are players? You get the point! These beliefs will come through in your actions and your attitude and will get in the way of meeting someone. Take a realistic look at your beliefs and work on changing ones that are not serving you well. Seek out the help of a counselor of coach if you need some assistance in this area.
The truth is that as we get older, we know more of what we are looking for and are more realistic in our expectations. We no longer expect a prince to come along and sweep us off our feet; however, you don’t want to settle either. Take the time to write down details about your ideal relationship and what that would include. What qualities are you looking for in an ideal partner? Are there things you aren’t willing to compromise on? Keep these details in mind as you venture out to find that relationship. It is time to look for the good guy/gal this time around.
As you go out and start dating again, remember to have a positive attitude and enjoy the journey. Find someone to share the good and not so good experiences with. Remember, all dates will not be great ones, but you have to get out there and meet people in order to find the right one. Take advantage of your support system. Make sure you have someone who will support you and will help you keep a positive attitude. It is important not to get discouraged. Put your best foot forward every day and smile and talk to as many people as you can. You never know when you might meet that special person.
Most importantly, remember to have fun! Do you remember how to flirt? If you are rusty in this area, read my post, “The Art of Flirting,” and then go out and practice. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Enjoy meeting new people and having new experiences knowing that eventually you will meet the one that is right for you.
While you are out there, remember to be safe. Don’t give out too much information too soon, and be sure to meet in a public place. Allow yourself time to get to know someone before you decide if they are “the one.” Take the relationship slow and really get to know the other person. You want this next relationship to be an Unstoppable one!
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist
Radio Host, “Ask Lori” show