Rejuvenate Your Love Life
Intimacy is essential for any relationship. Without it you have a friendship, not an unstoppable relationship full of love and passion. Everyone deserves and, I believe, wants to have that kind of relationship. Demands of life get in the way and become the priority sometimes. You come home tired at the end of the day and still have lots to do, and somehow making love takes a back seat in your relationship. On top of that, after a period of time, the “passion” hormones start to decrease which makes it even easier to find reasons not to have sex as often. As the friendship part of our relationship grows, the differences and newness that caused some of the spark and passion in the beginning starts to wear off as well.
There are many reasons why you want to keep the passion alive in your relationships. The hormone oxytocin that is released during sex create a bonding feeling between couples. Besides feeling good, this hormone also help us focus on how much we love our partner. Couples who have active sex lives focus on the positive attributes of their partners more and are more tolerant, less critical and generally happier with their partner. Added to that are the physical benefits of making love. It is aerobic and good exercise; it is relaxing and helps to reduce stress. So if it is that good for you and your relationship, how do you rejuvenate your love life if it has taken a backseat in your relationship? It is easier than you think.
- The first suggestion is to make it a priority. Do not wait for the right time; schedule it in and make time in your schedule.
- Don’t wait until the evening. Start early in the day. For men, women love attention. It is an aphrodisiac for them, so give them little hints during the day to remind them of how much you love them and that you are thinking of them. For women, start thinking about your evening in the morning when you are getting dressed. Put on something sexy, maybe just sexy underwear that only you know you have on. It will remind you all day of your plans for the evening.
- Be playful, and have fun with each other. Remember to always keep flirting with your partner. Send flirty texts during the day or call each other at lunch and act like you did when you were dating. This is fun, and it gets the hormones going.
- Incorporate more physical touch in your relationship, even when you don’t have time for sex. More hugs and kisses are great along with hand holding and snuggling. Instead of a quick hug and kiss in the morning or when you get back together at the end of the day, try a 10 second hug and kiss. It really makes a difference and will start the hormones flowing.
- Relax after dinner with a hot shower, hot bath, yoga and/or relaxing music. Anything to help you transition from the busy day to thinking about spending quality time with your partner.
- Reading sexy novels can be helpful to get you in the mood. Obooko.com has lots of free e-books to download with lots of romance novels to choose from.
- Create ambiance in your bedroom. Put on some music, turn down the lights, light a candle, turn off the TV, put away your phone and lock the door. Spend some uninterrupted time with your partner reconnecting.
- Ladies, if you would like some extra help getting in the mood you can try the Orgasm Diet, by Marrana Lidberg. Not only is this a healthy diet, and yes you get to eat chocolate, it also helps increase hormones that contribute to feeling sexy and enjoying it more. So why not give it a try!
Remember that intimacy is important in staying connected with your partner. Make it a priority and work on this part of your relationship like you work on other parts. Have fun and be creative!
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist