The Power of Choice
We make choices every day all day. These choices, if repeated over and over again, become habits. The choices that we make and the habits that we form have a great deal of power in our lives. These seemingly small things done over and over again make a big difference in our lives and in our relationships. My approach as a relationship specialist is to break down the keys to creating unstoppable relationships into small easy to follow tips. These small but powerful choices and actions are what make the difference between having an unsatisfactory relationship or having one full of love and passion!
Have you gotten into the habit of taking your partner for granted? Do you focus on the things you don’t like about your partner and criticize them? Frequently couples get into the habit of telling each other everything they do that is wrong or that they want them to do differently. How often do you tell them what they did right? How often do you praise them and show gratitude for all they do for you? How often do you tell them that you love them? I heard a husband once say, “I told her I loved her when we got married, nothing has changed.” So he didn’t keep telling her; he assumed she knew he still loved her.
These habits are easy to get into. You hear others complaining about their partners and you start to complain about yours. The romantic phase wears off and the chemical attraction between the two of you decreases. So, you get in the habit of showing less physical attention to each other and the passion starts to diminish in your relationship. You get busy with work, kids, and other demands of life and the relationship is no longer a top priority. These habits are easy to get into but are detrimental to your relationship.
So, if it is easy to get into bad habits, why not get into good habits that will support and deepen your relationship? Small steps taken on a daily basis will become habits, and the love and intimacy will return and grow. Habits of love and appreciation and gratitude are just as easy to foster as habits of criticism and resentment. It takes attention, intention and small consistent action to reap big rewards over time. Find ways to show love, appreciation, gratitude, and random act of kindness toward your partner. Show love and respect on a daily basis. Remember why you chose them in the first place. Make time for fun, and be playful. Also, remember that intimacy is a necessity in your relationship. Yes, it takes some effort, but the end result is worth it!
What can you do today and everyday to build your relationship up? What random act of kindness can you do today for you partner to show them how much you care and how important they are to you? It can be something small that you do or say but those small things add up to help you create an Unstoppable Relationship!
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist