We all want to feel loved in our relationships, but how we feel loved is different for men and women. Often women are showing their guy love in the way they want to be loved and not in the way he needs. For men, love and respect are synonymous. Respect is the primary need for men in a relationship, especially a romantic relationship. Men would rather feel unloved than disrespected. By showing men respect, you are actually showing them love in the way they need it most. Do you want to know how to make your guy feel like Superman in your relationship? Here are 6 ways to show him respect!
- Admire and Appreciate
It is important to let men know how much you admire and appreciate them and all they do for you and your family. How often do you acknowledge all your guy does for you? Remember to tell him how much you appreciate his going to work every day to provide for the family, even if you work as well. Let him know he is needed and is important to you. We can get in the habit of telling our partner what they do wrong and forget to tell them all the things they do right. Men want to please us and need acknowledgment for all they do. They will feel like Superman and will be motivated to continue to do these things when we show appreciation.
- Respect differences
Men and women are different! They think and act different in many ways. This will always be the case, and it is important to learn to appreciate these differences instead of expecting them to act like us. We do not want to be critical of our guy or start demanding that he be more like us. We show him respect when we allow him to be a guy. We can do this by allowing him time with male friends or time to spend on his hobbies. Men also need more time alone to decompress after a day at work. When we give him that time before asking something from him, we are showing respect.
- Trust his judgment
We show respect for our guy when we trust his judgment, opinions, decisions and knowledge. This does not mean we are not equally as smart or capable, but sometimes it is important to defer to him. It is critical to not argue all the time and question his decisions. This is a very touchy subject for men. They need to know we trust them and value their opinions. Remember you are a team, and he needs to feel appreciated in this way. So ask for his advice, and make sure you let him know you appreciate his input.
- Trust his abilities
This is another way men and women are different. As women, we show our caring and support by offering to help each other. When we insist on helping our guy with a project, he feels like we distrust him. So when he is installing the new TV system, allow him to do it his way and in his own time. It is more important that he feel respected than for us to have him do it our way or for us to help him. It is ok to ask if he would like some help, but when he says no, respect that. I would even prefer for you to tell him that you trust he will ask for your assistance if he wants it. Let him know you are available, but that is all. Some men will enjoy doing projects together if they can take the lead, but others prefer to do it alone.
- Respect in Communication
We show respect in our communication when we listen to our guy. Show interest in his day and the things that are important to him. Allow him to give his advice and opinions. Remember not to criticize or be overly negative or dramatic in your communication. Men are much more direct and short in their communication. They are more focused on problem solving. Remember to tell them you are proud of them and to let them know what they are doing right in the relationship!
- Respect in Public
This is a very important one! Always show your guy respect in public. Never put him down or criticize him around others, even when he isn’t with you. Remember you are a team and need to know you can count on each other. It can be easy to forget this if others around you are complaining about their partner, but it is detrimental to the relationship. Not only will he be very hurt by this behavior, but it will also affect how you see him. When you focus on the negative, you feel more disconnected and are more easily annoyed. It is important to focus on what you like and appreciate, and then remember to tell him.
Lori Ann Davis, MA
Certified Relationship Specialist