When you are single the thing that is foremost on your mind is meeting the right person, falling in love, and living happily ever after. Your primary focus is finding “the one.” Have you ever asked yourself, “Am I ready for a relationship?” This might be the most important question of all. The perfect partner could be right next to you at the next social event, but if you aren’t emotionally ready for a relationship, it won’t matter. So what does it mean to be ready to date?
- The first thing to consider is what kind of relationship you are looking for. Be honest with yourself and don’t feel like you have to compromise or settle in any way. Do some soul searching and discover what kind of relationship, not what kind of person per say, you are looking for? What are the core values you want and what would this relationship look and feel like?
- Do you have any emotional baggage you need to deal with? Are you over past relationships so you don’t bring those past issues into your current relationships? I have seen people ruin potentially good relationships because they have unresolved issues from the past. Do you still feel hurt? Do you expect the next partner to treat you the same as a past partner, or are you still angry or still have feelings for an ex? You want to be able to be evaluating your current or future relationships based on the now not the past.
- Are you happy with your life and looking for someone to add to it? If you are looking for a relationship to rescue you or thinking everything will be ok once your find that special someone, then you are not ready. You want to be happy with your life and interests and friends. The relationship will be a nice addition to this already good life. People make the mistake sometimes of giving up their lives once they start dating and making the new person the center of their world. It is important to keep your life and then find ways to add the new relationship to that life.
- Are you showing up every day as the best person you can be? Are you consistently acting in a way that the person you want to attract would be attracted to? Do your words and actions match when you are meeting people? This is so important for a relationship to grow and develop. There needs to be consistency in who you say you are and how you act. This will be a work in progress but needs to be a priority. If the answer is no, then you have some work to do so you can attract the person you want to be in a relationship with. The added benefit here is you become a better happier person.
- Do you have the right perspective? Are you ready to make a relationship a priority in your life? Do you have good communication skills, and are you ready to compromise to form a successful relationship? This requires letting little things go and accepting the other person as they are without trying to change them.
We all have a need to feel connected and to feel loved and accepted. Relationships are an essential part of our existence. Finding and keeping an unstoppable relationship is the goal. It can be daunting, though, without knowing how to get there. You have to be ready to attract and keep that ideal partner. My goal is to help you on your journey in any way I can by breaking it down into small steps for you to take on the road to that Unstoppable relationship you deserve!
Write comments below, and let me know what else I can do to help. What other topics would you like to see me cover? I want to hear from you!
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist