Creating and maintaining an Unstoppable Relationship can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. We all want that relationship that others notice and envy. You know that couple that seems to be so close and in love and happy! We can all have that relationship, but it doesn’t just happen; it takes work, commitment and the know-how. How you feel in your relationship affects how you feel about yourself, your work, your life in general, so it needs to be a priority.
This series will cover four keys to having unstoppable relationships. This list is not by any means all-inclusive, but these are components that I believe are essential to happy successful relationships. The four keys are: making your relationship a priority, good communication, appreciating the differences between men and women, and intimacy.
Today we will talk about the first key, making your relationship a priority. Making the relationship a priority means that the two of you must be a team. Your partner needs to feel that you are 100% committed to the relationship in order to feel safe and loved. So many times we start out doing a good job of communicating this to our partner during the beginning of the relationship. But, as time goes on we get busy with children, work and other demands of life. We quit trying and think that the relationship is as good as it gets or we believe that relationships just do not last.
When this happens, we start to get annoyed, frustrated, disappointed, and resentful of our partner. We start to focus on the negatives and behaviors we don’t like. Women will question whether they are really loved and men will not feel respected which can lead to poor communication and loss of intimacy. I know you have heard people in a group putting down their partner to others and complaining about them. Your focus shifts from all the things you love about your partner to all the things that you don’t like.
What is needed is a new perspective. It is time to remember all the reasons you fell in love and chose this person to be your mate in the first place. We want to shift our perspective to one of gratitude and appreciation. Acceptance and respect for the other is crucial. Always talk favorably about your partner to others. Accept them for who they are without trying to change them. This change in perspective requires you to look at the big picture in your relationship and to focus on the relationship as a whole and not on the little details. You develop a mindset of you and your partner as a team. When deciding how to respond to your partner always keep in mind the end result you are going for; an unstoppable relationship! Will your attitude and actions help or hurt your relationship?
If you do this for a period of time, say 90 days, you will be amazed at how your thoughts about your partner change. You will notice more things about them that you like and more reasons to love them. When you are treating them with this much love and respect, you will start to get more in return. Their love for you will increase as well. You will also notice that you are happier! How can you not be happier when your focus is on all the things you like instead of dislike?
The good news about this is it only takes one person to transform a relationship. You can show up different in the relationship and begin to break unhealthy patterns, which can transform your relationship.
Your partner needs to know that you are living as a team and nothing can come between you. You are number one in their world. All humans have a need to feel secure and safe and the place we should feel this 100% is with our partner. This will lead to an increase in love and intimacy. When you feel safe and accepted by your partner, you are free to truly be yourself and create a closeness you have with no one else.
Next week we will discuss the importance of communication in having an unstoppable relationship!
Lori Ann Davis, MA
Certified Relationship Specialist