Technology has certainly become a part of our everyday lives.  Computers and phones have made life efficient and convenient.  We can do more, in less time while using fewer resources.  One major benefit of modern technology is texting!  Texting is a fun and quick way to communicate with friends and family and even in our business relationships.  And, the great thing about texting is that it can be used in our romantic relationships to add a little spice!

While texting has many advantages, it is important to remember that they do not convey tone of voice or body language, which can lead to misinterpretation. Short messages may come across as frustration or anger.  And, messages can be misinterpreted if read the wrong way. However, texting can be beneficial to any romantic relationship by following a few, simple guidelines!


1. Don’t jump to conclusions or get upset if you don’t understand the text or if it is vague.  Wait and ask for clarification in person or over the phone.  Don’t let your insecurities take over.  I always suggest that if a text upsets you in any way, assume you might have misunderstood and check it out!

2. Don’t ever text angry or upset!  You can text about something you are frustrated about as long as it isn’t directed at the person you are texting.

3. Do not ever convey bad news via texting. This requires two-way communications and should always be done in person or over the phone.

4. Don’t expect an immediate answer or get upset if you don’t get a response right away.

5. Ladies, do not overdo texts.  Guys don’t like to be bombarded with messages from you.


1. Text after the first date to say you had a good time; however, guys, call to ask for a second date.

2. Do reply to texts you get in a timely manner, even if it is only a smiley face.

3. If your relationship is new, keep texts light and fun. You can share some basic information even before the first date, but keep it simple.  Wait until you actually talk on the phone or meet to give too many details.

4. If you are already in a relationship, use texting to spice up your relationship!  Feel free to send flirty texts to your partner. This can add fun to your relationship. I recommend this to couples in marriage counseling. You have to work on keeping the passion alive in your relationship, and this can help.

5. Use texting to say “I Love You,” to tell your partner why you love them or that you are thinking of them.  It is a way to stay in contact and to give your partner attention.  Guys, remember attention is an aphrodisiac to your lady. She loves it! 

6. Use texting to stay in touch when you are apart or if you are not living together. Let your lady or guy know you are thinking of them.  Send a text that says, “Good morning beautiful.” Ladies love this, guys!  Tell them good night at the end of the day if you are apart.  Text them a private joke that you share or if you see or hear something that reminds you of them.  It is a simple, quick, inexpensive way to let your partner know they are important to you.

The most important thing to remember about using texts in our relationships is that it should never be used in place of verbal communication.  Relationships thrive on face-to-face communication especially when it comes to settling disagreements or discussing important issues.  Keep texts light and simple, and use them to have a little fun or add some spice.  Your partner will love it!






About Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS

As a certified relationship specialist ,my primary goal is to help empower individuals and couples so they can live richer, fuller, happier lives. I have a masters degree in clinical psychology. I am a certified relationship specialist in Charlotte, NC. I do individual sessions over the phone and teach workshops for couples and singles locally. I am also the host of the "Ask Lori" radio show on www.WGIVCharlotte.com If you are struggling to find happiness in your relationship, or if you would like to attract and keep your ideal partner, I can help. I work with clients who are struggling to find happiness in their relationships. They would like to have better communication and to feel more understood. They would also like to experience more passion in their relationship. I have learned through my education and my own life's journey, what the keys to a successful, unstoppable relationship are. I will motivate you, inspire you, teach you, and coach you every step of the way. These techniques have made such a positive impact on my life and my clients that I can't wait to share them with you.

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