It seems like my wife is always mad at me.  Does she hate me?  What did I do wrong? It feels like I can’t do anything right!

I have been hearing these questions a lot lately.

To answer this, first we need to understand more about women and how they think.  What is really going on with them?

Behind every negative emotion is an unmet desire.

When a woman is angry it could be she is

  • not feeling heard
  • dissatisfied in other areas of her life
  • feeling unloved, unappreciated in the relationship
  • it could have to do with unresolved childhood issues, personality issues, or hormones

First it is important to understand some of the differences between men and women. When women do not feel loved, they either become angry or needy.  Men and women are different and will always be different.  So guys, don’t expect her to act like you or think like you!  It is much better to learn to understand her.

  1. Women need reassurance.  They feel fundamentally insecure about your love for them. Yes, I know this isn’t logical and she would change it if she could.  So guys it is your job to reassure her often.  Remember when you were dating how you would tell her frequently that you love her and how much she means to you?  Well, keep doing that.  Never stop dating her. 
  2. When she is upset, she doesn’t need or want space like you do.  She needs a hug and reassurance. Ask her what is wrong and if she says nothing; keep asking.  She really does want to tell you and to get your support.
  3. Listen to her.  Give her your undivided attention. If what is bothering her is an emotion issue, just listen. Don’t try to fix it. If the car is broken, feel free to fix that!


The best thing you can do is to find ways to let her know how much you cherish her and how important she is to you. Let her know you would choose her again and again.

Set up a regular date night, go for walks together and hold her hand, spend time watching TV and cuddling or whatever you both enjoy doing together. If you are having trouble coming up with ideas, ask her to create a list of ways she feels loved. You can also try new things and watch her response to see what she likes.

Physical contact is very important. Not just sex guys. Physical contact that does not lead to sex is a very good way to show you love her. So more hugs and small shows of affection that are not meant to lead to sex, at least not at that moment. This will probably make her feel closer to you and more in the mood for sex later on!

Be sure to reconnect with her at the end of every day. Those first few minutes when you get back together after a busy day are very important. Find a way to spend a few minutes together letting her know you are happy to see her and that you love her.

I hope this helps you understand your lady better and gives you some ideas on how to improve your relationship.

For more information go to my website:


About Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS

As a certified relationship specialist ,my primary goal is to help empower individuals and couples so they can live richer, fuller, happier lives. I have a masters degree in clinical psychology. I am a certified relationship specialist in Charlotte, NC. I do individual sessions over the phone and teach workshops for couples and singles locally. I am also the host of the "Ask Lori" radio show on If you are struggling to find happiness in your relationship, or if you would like to attract and keep your ideal partner, I can help. I work with clients who are struggling to find happiness in their relationships. They would like to have better communication and to feel more understood. They would also like to experience more passion in their relationship. I have learned through my education and my own life's journey, what the keys to a successful, unstoppable relationship are. I will motivate you, inspire you, teach you, and coach you every step of the way. These techniques have made such a positive impact on my life and my clients that I can't wait to share them with you.

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